To be or not to be an entrepreneur (again)

I’m thinking about starting another business. After being unemployed for six months and travelling the world, my savings account is dwindling.  Still, I haven’t found the kind of work that I’m looking for next – something challenging, creative, purposeful and where I have a great deal of control.  It doesn’t seem to exist. Or if it does, recruiters don’t think I’m qualified.

At forty-six, I’m taking bigger risks if I do start another business now. My retirement savings isn’t that big after following my ex-husband’s career around the world for nearly fifteen years.  While I have saved a bit during my last few jobs, it’s funny how fast you can go through it when you’re not bringing in any income.

And what if I get injured or seriously ill during this business start-up phase?  I don’t have a safety net to bail me out.  Is it really worth taking this kind of risk now – at a time that everyone says is the prime of my career if I keep moving up the same path?

At least I don’t have kids to consider. Otherwise my risk appetite may be different.

Fear of starting another business has its place especially with my entrepreneurial track record – this will be business #4 if I go for it. Still, I keep telling myself that if I only put in the kind of consistent hard work into my own business that I have put into others in the past I should have a decent chance of success. 

While I could spend a lot of time thinking about the ramifications if I fail – loss of my entire savings, loss of my home, loss of my reputation. What if I never find a job again afterwards and become homeless? Ugh!

It’s scary and some days that is all I can’t think about.  But other days, I asked myself – what if I did succeed?  I could do a lot of good for the environment and community if I choose the right business.

Furthermore, wouldn’t it be amazing to have work where I am enjoying the process, not just an end goal? That is…

Work filled with growth, of purpose, of a diverse range of activities and opportunities for creativity.

Work where I see no need to make such dramatic career changes in the future because I never quit learning and enjoying the ride.

Work were I can set the purpose and values of the organisation and share that journey with others that align with them.

Because in five years’ time, I could be either doing the exact same work that recruiters expect of me.  Or I could finally be making a living with an entity that I literally took from an idea to a life of it’s own.

My decision point is coming very soon.  I admit that I’m scared.