Self-doubt Archives - Tammy Ven Dange

The last week has been pretty stressful getting ready for my product launch and crowdfunding kick-off. I’m way behind schedule with a mile long list of tasks that can’t be delegated to anyone. Nevertheless it’s getting done, and after testing about a dozen ideas, I finally found a work-around for the prototype issue – but not before shedding some sweat, tears and actual blood.

Bloody injury — A little blood from attempted Fix #9 for the prototype

The most stressful part has been putting myself out there to invite people to the crowdfunding kick-off. If this business fails, I will be going down in massive flames along with the savings I’ve already put into this business, my reputation and perhaps a few relationships.

This self-doubt has probably caused me to procrastinate a few times. I suppose, it’s not necessarily self-doubt, but also concerns about the public’s reaction to my product ideas.

Will the product solve some of their pet problems as I had imagined? Can they overlook any deficits in the prototype knowing that these issues will be be fixed in the manufacturing process? Do they think it’s value for money? Will there be enough interest to meet the funding goal so that I can buy the moulds?

I’m at the pointy end of what I call milestone 1A. If we fail to get through this check-point, the entire business concept collapses, and I will be looking for a job sooner rather than later. Maybe the potential loss of a dream is actually what I’m more afraid of – the inability to see this business idea with an environmental mission through to fruition.

I can only hope that the potential customers can see what I can see – products that can help keep pets safe while protecting the environment at the same time.

I finally told my parents last night that I started another business. I wasn’t trying to keep this news from them. In fact, I was surprised in our conversation when I realised that they didn’t know.

Living across the world from them means that I only see my family twice a year if I’m lucky. And, lately, our joint attention and conversations have been paid to my new nephew.

My parents, particularly my father, have always been supportive of my entrepreneurial spirit. However, their own livelihood is dependent on me now. So, I can’t afford to go broke at this stage in my life.

After that video call, I felt compelled to look at job ads again. Am I being stubborn and selfish by not just taking a job? Am I actually putting my new business at more risk by working on it full-time now rather than starting it as a side-hustle?

Most people would say yes. However, when I look at all the jobs being advertised, I can only picture a life of uninteresting, frustrating work and long days. Yes, I get paid well when I do work for others. However, the kinds of roles I usually have are all-consuming for me. That’s one reason why I have rarely been able to job search while still employed – I just can’t focus on both activities at the same time.

If I took a job now, I feel like I would be taking the easy route and basically give up on this dream – accepting a life of “good enough.” I wouldn’t have the time, energy or headspace to start a business like this if I did go back to work for others.

No! Despite the risk, right now I just have to push ahead and know that I will know the answers when I get to the next major decision points. I can think about all the things that could go wrong. BUT…

What if I am right?

Tammy Ven Dange

Sweat, Tears and actual Blood

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